It occurred to me this morning that
when it comes to writing, I’m a coward.
I’ve never experienced the pain of receiving a rejection letter, not because
my stories are that good, but because I’ve never bothered to submit my stories
to any source where rejection is possible.
Oh sure, I entered a story in the CBC Short Story Prize competition last year, the only
competition I entered, but with thousands of entries pouring in, I entered not
expecting to win, so there was no disappointment
when I didn’t.
I’ve become an
expert at avoiding disappointment, going so far as to self-publishing two
books, a collection of flash fiction and a collection of short stories, knowing
that I didn’t have the foggiest idea how to market them, but at least they
weren’t rejected, and I saved face by accepting that every book I sold was a
victory. I broke even, and that was a
plus, but the stories in both books deserved better than that, they deserved to
be submitted, criticized, and yes, even rejected a few times in order to gain
credibility. I didn’t have the courage
to do it.
It’s CBC Short
Story Prize time again, and I’ve been writing up a storm, hoping upon hope to
write a story that I could believe was good enough to win, I did it, but now
the fear has set in and I almost decided against entering it because of
possible rejection. It needs editing and
revising, and I’m working on that now, but make no mistake about it, I will
enter it, and I will wait with eager anticipation until next April, when the
short list is announced and the winner is announced, and I will be crushed if
it doesn’t place but that’s okay, I will survive it. One way or the other, I will start to pay my
dues towards becoming a serious writer.
Life is about
change, and I am resolved to change. I
won’t sit idly by, waiting for a fruitful outcome, I will write up a storm, I will
submit to markets and competitions, and I will collect those rejection slips,
and those successes as they come, in short, I will take the risk and become a
real writer. Challenge accepted!
Love you all!
Luc
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